she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
