And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
