No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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