Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
