Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
