fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
