Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
