I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think I won the penis lottery.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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