its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I love you.
Bad choice
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
