Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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