Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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