Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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