He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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