maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
