Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
