Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
