what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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