just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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