the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize