Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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