i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
