So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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