It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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