Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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