do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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