1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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