this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize