I bet he comes in French.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
