Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
