you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
