if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
