It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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