I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize