This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
