and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
