fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just threw up on my dentist
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
