whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
