i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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