Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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