Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
