real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
