why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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