Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
