i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
