oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
