i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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