If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
