one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
