I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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