I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
