I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't deserve a penis
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
