She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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