this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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