I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He has the fingertips of a God
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