I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize