u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
