am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize