I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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