Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
