I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize