Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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