In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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