We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
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