wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
sex in a hospital.. check
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
