Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
