It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
