After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i think my cat just said my name.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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