just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize